The Return of Mr. Bean

"The Return of Mr. Bean"

"The Return of Mr. Bean" is the second episode of the television series Mr. Bean, and features three sketches in which Mr. Bean goes shopping in his unique way at a department store, visits a restaurant for a meal that he son tries to get rid of, and prepares to greet the Queen before a Royal Premiere. The episode was the first to feature the 'Bean falling from sky' opening, though in a basic design, while it was the first to feature the choral theme tune for the show (Ecce homo qui est faba), performed by the Choir of Southwark Cathedral. Written by Robin Driscoll, the first script for the programme, it was produced by Tiger Television, and originally aired on ITV on 5 November 1990.

Plot

Act 1: The Department Store

While heading to a department store, Bean encounters a busker playing a tenor saxophone and finds himself unable to give him any change, as he only has a paper bill on him. Having an idea, he places a handkerchief on the ground nearby and performs a silly dance, allowing him to get some change from an elderly woman, which he quickly places in the busker's saxophone case. Following this, Bean soon arrives at the store and takes a moment to admire his new charge card. After having to flee from the perfume department upon feeling overwhelmed by the fragrances, he soon begins searching for items to buy, testing them out first, with some done in unusual fashion - he removes a toothbrush from its packet to see how it feels on his teeth, finds a good peeler by using them on a potato he brought with him, and finds the right frying pan with a fish he had inside his jacket.

When checking for a new telephone, Bean finds the ones on display don't have a dial tone, assuming they don't work, eventually taking one from a receptionist's desk when he finds it works, despite the fact it is not for sale. Heading for the cash register, he prepares to make his purchases, setting his card on the counter, only for another customer to mistakenly take it, after accidentally covering up his own charge card of the same kind that the store clerk had returned. Bean, witnessing this, chooses to pickpocket him and swap the cards back, but when returning the customer's wallet to his back pocket, he manages to get his hand stuck and finds himself being unwittingly pulled all the way into the men's restrooms and a toilet stall. Although free, Bean finds himself trapped, with the customer not knowing he is there until he helps him to find the roll of toilet paper, jumping up in fright upon doing so as Bean smiles nervously at the man.

Act 2: The Restaurant

Heading to a fancy restaurant to celebrate his birthday, Bean is seated at a table and left to choose his meal from a menu by the maitre d'. While making his choice, leaving the money for the food on a plate, he writes out a birthday card to himself, feigning surprise upon opening and reading it. When the maitre d' returns, Bean orders what he thinks will be a regular steak, and as he waits for his food, he takes a moment to sample some of the house wine, before using the glasses on his table to chime out "Happy Birthday". When the waiter arrives with his meal, Bean pays him for the meal, making him think he is being given a generous tip. Upon being left to eat his meal, Bean finds that he had ordered a steak tartare, which he soon finds disgusting upon tasting a bit of it, being forced to swallow the first bite to avoid upsetting the restaurant staff. Seeking to avoid eating the rest of it, Bean cuts it up and sticks bits of the meal in different places on his table. First, he hides some of it in an ashtray, then a tiny flower vase, before hollowing out a portion of the bread roll on his table and using the hollow to hide more of the meal, before sliding some under a small plate, and another portion within the base of a sugar bowl.

Shortly after this, a violinist walks towards his table and spotting his card, plays "Happy Birthday" for him, before playing another tune, holding on a note until Bean eats another piece of steak. As soon as the violinist turns his back on him, Bean spits it down the man's trousers. Spotting that a woman on a neighbouring table is distracted by the tunes of the violin, Bean takes her handbag and puts pieces of the steak into it, but while putting it back, he manages to make the waiter trip up over his outstretched leg. Using this opportunity to cover up his actions, Bean blames him for his meal being spread everywhere he hid it, leading the maitre d' to apologise for the accident and relocate him to another table. The waiter soon brings over a new meal on the house, which to Bean's horror turns out to be another steak tartare.

Act 3: The Royal Premiere

At a cinema within London, staff prepare to host a royal premiere, awaiting the arrival of the Queen. Bean, who happens to work there, arrives a little late, but is excited to greet the Queen, wondering how to do so and eventually deciding upon a swift bow. As he stands in line between the cinema's manager and an usherette, he finds that the men all have pocket handkerchiefs within their smart evening suits. After unsuccessfully attempting to steal the manager's own, Bean uses the white, blank side of a postcard to create a make-shift one. When he notices the manager checking his breath, he soon checks his own and decides to use a breath freshener in his mouth. Bean then becomes concerned that his teeth are not clean and snags a loose thread from the usherette's uniform to floss his teeth, only for the thread to get stuck between them. He eventually yanks it out, briefly turning away to scream in pain.

Content the Queen will be impressed with his fresh breath and clean teeth, Bean soon notices his fingernails are not clean and opts to use the fly of his trousers to clean them, finishing up just as the Queen arrives. As she begins to greet the staff, Bean realises he forgot to zip up his flies, panicking when they become stuck, and then when he sticks his hand down his trousers to pull them up and leaves his finger stuck out through them in a rather lewd manner. Fortunately, he manages to remove his finger and zip his trousers up in time, but upon greeting the Queen with his swift bow, he accidentally headbutts her and knocks her to the ground. As staff and security rush in to help her up, Bean makes a swift run for the exit.

Cast

• Rowan Atkinson (Bean; News Reporter, voice only)
• Dave O'Higgins (Busker)
• Paul McDowell (Customer)
• William Van Dyck (Checkout manager)
• John Junkin (Maitre d')
• Roger Lloyd-Pack (Waiter)
• Steve McNicholas (Violinist)
• Matilda Ziegler (Usherette)
• Robin Driscoll (Cinema manager)
• Tina Maskall (Queen)

Censors

A number of scenes were cut from broadcast on other channels:

• The scene in which Mr. Bean uses the escalators but does not move off when he reaches the top, was edited out of the episode for its broadcast on Nickelodeon UK.
• Disney Channel Asia cut the scene in which Bean becomes trapped in the bathroom stall with customer, because of the half-nudity within this scene.

External links

• "The Return of Mr. Bean" at IMDb